Avoid Extreme Responses

by Robert E. "", President
ExpatRepat Services


Two extremes are to be avoided when facing the challenge of adjusting to a host culture.

A rigid person refusing to learn how to live and work in another culture is certain that the rest of the world should "do things the way that we did back home." When this expression is heard, it is a sure sign that the one speaking does not understand the nature of culture. But of one thing this person is sure, "folks ought not to do things the way these crazy people do, but deal with reality in the 'correct way,' like back where I grew up."

The person who "goes native" in a host culture occasionally is seen in a host country. Such a person is so taken with the ways of that culture he or she might say: "I'm so impressed with the beauty of this country, its language, its music, and its people. Their approach to life is the way all cultures should deal with life."

In his helpful book, Figuring Foreigners Out, Craig Storti offers this brief but helpful definition of culture: "Culture is the shared assumptions, values, and beliefs of a group of people which result in characteristic behaviors" (p. 5). Over long periods of time, decisions are made about how to solve problems in a group, from the family, to larger groups in specific contexts, where there are basic assumptions made and where cultural norms are formulated. As those principles are put to use repeatedly, they come to be shared by a larger number of persons. Thereby there is an invisible map stored in each person's mind in that culture by which behavior is guided. It occurs in every group, whether your family, your company, or your country.

Thus, when a person departs his or her culture of origin—whether the family, the place of employment, or the country in which one was nurtured—there is a challenge to adjust to the new culture. It is the wise person who avoids the extremes stated above and learns to adjust to the host culture into which that person has relocated. Such a person is an expatriate, one who resides outside his or her home country.

Here are specific suggestions to consider when living in another country:

  1. Learn the difference between "acceptance" and "approval," or "disapproval." When one enters another culture, to avoid going to one of the extremes mentioned above, one must learn that the challenge of adjusting to a different culture does not require approval or disapproval of the cultural norms of the host culture. Without violating one's conscience, one must first learn to accept what is practiced, realizing that you are not responsible for determining correct or incorrect behavior in the host culture. Your approval or disapproval is not likely to change behavioral norms in a host culture. But acceptance of cultural norms there is the first step in you being able to adjust to that host culture.

  2. Through observation and discrete inquiry, try to learn what principles lie beneath behaviors that at first may to you appear to be unusual, or without reason. This can pertain to such actions as whether to bow, shake hands, or kiss on the cheek the one you meet. Yet it extends also to many other actions in behavior whose purpose may initially escape your detection.

  3. Recruit a host culture friend as a model, or a cultural coach, to observe you in specific cultural contexts. Listen to the critique such a person can perform for you in private. There are specific responses that are appropriate to particular settings. This may pertain to social settings or business contexts. Avoid being embarrassed by unintended mistakes. Be a patient but persistent learner. Select a thoughtful and knowledgeable tutor who will guide you through the process of adjusting to the culture.

  4. Once you are able to accept the host culture, without needing to approve or disapprove of it, you are ready for an important next step. Find ways to affirm your appreciation for the host culture and the people who reside in it. Do so through carefully chosen words and positive attitudes that affirm your respect for the worth and dignity of your new friends.

  5. As you learn to appreciate the cultural norms of the host country, you will adjust to the culture in such a manner so as to be able without thinking to respond appropriately in specific contexts. Your respect for the individuals and for their host culture will evoke further good will and cooperation as you live and work in that culture.

What things have you learned about extremes while living in another culture? I welcome your thoughts on challenges you faced in adjusting to the culture of another country where you live, or have lived as an expatriate. Without disclosing your identity, we would welcome humorous experiences from which you learned interesting insights about a host culture.

What lessons have you learned from your expatriate experience? Contact us and describe some of the things you learned as an expat.

Read more articles about host culture adjustment.